My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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