I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
