You smell like a Billy Joel song
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Pooping to opera.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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