we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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