Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i think my mom watched the whole time
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
