she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
