she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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