My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Be still, my beating vagina.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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