I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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