I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
