we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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