I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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