THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
