So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
