You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
