people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
