I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
