Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
