we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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