I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
