Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
