Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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