There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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