The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
