If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Couch. On fire.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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