How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
