I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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