how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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