Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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