I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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