You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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