I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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