sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize