no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
