My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
How does one acquire holy water?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
