Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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