STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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