I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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