Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
