I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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