I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
