I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
