I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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