Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
