singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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