It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
My vagina just recognized that song.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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