What a fucking waste of an outfit
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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