I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Hippo gnu deer
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
