Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
