Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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