after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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