Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
