For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
