lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
