She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
